10-21-2013, 04:05 AM
(09-05-2013, 02:40 PM)sullsk Wrote: weigh the heart of this empty childI love the last two lines; they close with great impact. But I feel it perhaps contradicts the prior lines which says that her heart is beating.
watch it begging for demise
with each beat it will destroy her
with each thrump it tells a lie thump
because how can her heart be beating
when she doesnt feel alive doesn't, if the grammar is something you're looking to rework[b]
