empty child
#6
(09-05-2013, 02:40 PM)sullsk Wrote:  weigh the heart of this empty child
watch it begging for demise
with each beat it will destroy her
with each thrump it tells a lie thump
because how can her heart be beating
when she doesnt feel alive doesn't, if the grammar is something you're looking to rework[b]
I love the last two lines; they close with great impact. But I feel it perhaps contradicts the prior lines which says that her heart is beating.
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Messages In This Thread
empty child - by sullsk - 09-05-2013, 02:40 PM
RE: empty child - by Reilley - 09-05-2013, 11:02 PM
RE: empty child - by tramiant - 09-06-2013, 02:08 PM
RE: empty child - by betalife - 09-07-2013, 01:37 AM
RE: empty child - by in-need-of-an-empire - 09-07-2013, 05:49 AM
RE: empty child - by sansysans - 10-21-2013, 04:05 AM



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