10-16-2013, 03:27 PM
Laura,
Thank you for taking the time to go over this in such depth. I can't say that your points are without value, however most are counter to my purpose in this poem. I think that comes as a result of our different approaches to poetry.
"My H.D. Imagiste would be appalled, I know it."
My educational background focused primarily on the English Romantics, specifically Coleridge and Blake. That said, this was my general approach to his piece. This is a monologue by Venus, so yes when I capitalized "Love", it was referencing at lest partially, her. Venus in the Aeneid, causes Dido to fall in love with Aeneas, her son, so that the Carthaginians will be well disposed to helping the Trojans out, who have just suffered greatly at the hands of Juno. Venus uses Dido extremely, causing her to fall deeply in love with Aeneas, through the intervention of Cupid who takes on the semblance of Aeneas' son in order to get close enough to Dido to infect her with "love" for Aeneas. When Aeneas leaves at the urging of the gods, Dido cannot stand the pain and kills herself, with Aeneas' sword.
The idea of the poem, is to expose the hypocrisy of love, extending the idea of Venus to encompass the archetype of romantic love as it has played out in Western civilization, showing that "Love" is not only not very loving, but in fact is sadistic, and revels in the pain created by so called love. As such the form demonstrates this by being broken after hinting at being something it is not, thus the juxtaposed IP with less smooth lines, and so on. This is an experimental form I have been working on for the last twenty years. There is no set usage or technique, the idea is that in some way the form mimics the content.
I do not contend that this approach works well, and it may be completely pointless to pursue it, but as I have nothing better to do...
I am tempted by your suggestion about splitting it, but I fear that might be showing Venus too much respect.
Again, thank you for your thoughtful comments, I will keep them in mind for further down the iter.
Dale
Thank you for taking the time to go over this in such depth. I can't say that your points are without value, however most are counter to my purpose in this poem. I think that comes as a result of our different approaches to poetry.
"My H.D. Imagiste would be appalled, I know it."
My educational background focused primarily on the English Romantics, specifically Coleridge and Blake. That said, this was my general approach to his piece. This is a monologue by Venus, so yes when I capitalized "Love", it was referencing at lest partially, her. Venus in the Aeneid, causes Dido to fall in love with Aeneas, her son, so that the Carthaginians will be well disposed to helping the Trojans out, who have just suffered greatly at the hands of Juno. Venus uses Dido extremely, causing her to fall deeply in love with Aeneas, through the intervention of Cupid who takes on the semblance of Aeneas' son in order to get close enough to Dido to infect her with "love" for Aeneas. When Aeneas leaves at the urging of the gods, Dido cannot stand the pain and kills herself, with Aeneas' sword.
The idea of the poem, is to expose the hypocrisy of love, extending the idea of Venus to encompass the archetype of romantic love as it has played out in Western civilization, showing that "Love" is not only not very loving, but in fact is sadistic, and revels in the pain created by so called love. As such the form demonstrates this by being broken after hinting at being something it is not, thus the juxtaposed IP with less smooth lines, and so on. This is an experimental form I have been working on for the last twenty years. There is no set usage or technique, the idea is that in some way the form mimics the content.
I do not contend that this approach works well, and it may be completely pointless to pursue it, but as I have nothing better to do...
I am tempted by your suggestion about splitting it, but I fear that might be showing Venus too much respect.
Again, thank you for your thoughtful comments, I will keep them in mind for further down the iter.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.