10-12-2013, 03:20 AM
(09-22-2013, 01:26 AM)OliverPorano Wrote: helplessness is blindThis line seems very out of placeShort and sweet. The lack of punctuation is very effective. I don't understand why that first line is there though. The sight-audio conflict, plus it doesn't make sense while the rest of the poem is very concrete.
the symphony of consciousness
stops in the air
with the mad chatter
of unseen audiencesNice rhyme