Unititled
#7
(09-22-2013, 01:26 AM)OliverPorano Wrote:  helplessness is blindThis line seems very out of place
the symphony of consciousness
stops in the air
with the mad chatter
of unseen audiencesNice rhyme
Short and sweet. The lack of punctuation is very effective. I don't understand why that first line is there though. The sight-audio conflict, plus it doesn't make sense while the rest of the poem is very concrete.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Unititled - by OliverPorano - 09-22-2013, 01:26 AM
RE: Unititled - by ellajam - 09-25-2013, 03:39 AM
RE: Unititled - by OliverPorano - 09-25-2013, 08:08 AM
RE: Unititled - by mortal - 09-25-2013, 05:08 AM
RE: Unititled - by leftover sushi - 09-25-2013, 11:12 AM
RE: Unititled - by Malu - 10-07-2013, 01:59 PM
RE: Unititled - by jringo_ - 10-12-2013, 03:20 AM
RE: Unititled - by RyanRader13 - 10-12-2013, 03:33 AM
RE: Unititled - by tectak - 10-14-2013, 10:58 PM
RE: Unititled - by Erthona - 10-14-2013, 11:20 PM
RE: Unititled - by alatos - 10-17-2013, 05:09 AM



Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!