Smile's all agape

[Intricate B]

I love this one. its very different and new. Its not the stale long lost love poetry. Its an exciting twist on reality and one could arue that the ending shock was too drastic and that some of the words and setting were a bit clashy but that is my favorite thing about it. the vivid imagery and emotions of excitement and anticipation perfectly opened the door to slam the reader into the brick wall of insanity. very good consideration of the audience but with the balls to make them uncomfortable. Many say that the use of curse words are to make up for a lack of vocabulary and in some cases like rappers and rednecks this has the possibility of truth but for someone who can use fuck to paint a picture its unlimitedly effective. I give you thumbs up good sir I hope to see more of your works I feel we have alot in common

I greatly appreciate you putting time into this critique, as well as the compliments perceived.
I am a man who believes that once you quit learning, you might as well die.
So as not to be speaking out the side of my neck, I've made it a point to download dictionaries, and apps for expanding my vocabulary, specifically descriptive words..
So, when I throw in fuck? It kind of meshes..
I like to try to have sort of ying yang effect in my newer work.
Action and reaction if you will..
For every good, there's equal bad.
And since, the majority of this one is positive-ish, it had to have a bigger, negative recoil.

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I love this one. its very different and new. Its not the stale long lost love poetry. Its an exciting twist on reality and one could arue that the ending shock was too drastic and that some of the words and setting were a bit clashy but that is my favorite thing about it. the vivid imagery and emotions of excitement and anticipation perfectly opened the door to slam the reader into the brick wall of insanity. very good consideration of the audience but with the balls to make them uncomfortable. Many say that the use of curse words are to make up for a lack of vocabulary and in some cases like rappers and rednecks this has the possibility of truth but for someone who can use fuck to paint a picture its unlimitedly effective. I give you thumbs up good sir I hope to see more of your works I feel we have alot in common

I greatly appreciate you putting time into this critique, as well as the compliments perceived.
I am a man who believes that once you quit learning, you might as well die.
So as not to be speaking out the side of my neck, I've made it a point to download dictionaries, and apps for expanding my vocabulary, specifically descriptive words..
So, when I throw in fuck? It kind of meshes..
I like to try to have sort of ying yang effect in my newer work.
Action and reaction if you will..
For every good, there's equal bad.
And since, the majority of this one is positive-ish, it had to have a bigger, negative recoil.