10-02-2013, 11:26 PM
I really have no idea what this is about, but it does seem as though some of your lines are more or less rhyme driven. My personal feeling is that a word cannot be rhymed with itself, and this applies even when the words are different if they sound the same, i.e., "won" and "one". Is there really a "radio one" or did you just make that up for the rhyme?
I have no idea what "magnet waves straight to shore" means. What are magnet waves? Do you mean "Magnetic Waves"?
I'm also not sure how "a storm revolves, evolves behind a bulk head door," unless you mean an emotional storm.
I'm not sure what you are trying to say here, "a million listeners battles won" but it seems like an apostrophe is in order.
"So I guess you thought that would stop the rot" What rot?
On the positive side, I guess this is more or less in iambic tetrameter except for the first stanza.
Very confuting.
dale
I have no idea what "magnet waves straight to shore" means. What are magnet waves? Do you mean "Magnetic Waves"?
I'm also not sure how "a storm revolves, evolves behind a bulk head door," unless you mean an emotional storm.
I'm not sure what you are trying to say here, "a million listeners battles won" but it seems like an apostrophe is in order.
"So I guess you thought that would stop the rot" What rot?
On the positive side, I guess this is more or less in iambic tetrameter except for the first stanza.
Very confuting.
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.