In The Face Of It

[ellajam]

Sweet voices rise in joyful song
Drowning out the wail of grief
Life is as short as it is long

Kindred spirits we seek among
The many met though time is brief
Sweet voices rise in joyful song

We roam the fog of right and wrong
Guard our hearts from spirit’s thief
Life is as short as it is long

Loves chosen from the passing throng
Good company a short relief
Sweet voices rise in joyful song

Balance the seesaw of weak and strong
Build slowly like a coral reef
Life is as short as it is long

Our human nature craves to belong
On the tree of life to be just one leaf
Sweet voices rise in joyful song
Life is as short as it is long

[heslopian]

Sweet voices rise in joyful song
Drowning out the wail of grief
Life is as short as it is long This makes me think of T. S. Eliot: "Life is very long".

Kindred spirits we seek among
The many met though time is brief
Sweet voices rise in joyful song

We roam the fog of right and wrong Great line. Simple and evocative.
Guard our hearts from spirit’s thief Is this a thief who steals spirits, or one who resides in everyone's spirit?
Life is as short as it is long

Loves chosen from the passing throng "Love's"
Good company a short relief
Sweet voices rise in joyful song

Balance the seesaw of weak and strong
Build slowly like a coral reef
Life is as short as it is long

Our human nature craves to belong
On the tree of life to be just one leaf
Sweet voices rise in joyful song
Life is as short as it is long

Good villanelle. It doesn't really flow as a narrative, seeming more like a list of lines, but its refrains are great - "life is as short as it is long" encompasses both life's arduousness and transience, which is hard to do in one line, so kudos. The imagery's very concise, if a little vague and too metaphorical: we don't get much of a sense of setting. JMHO, of course. Thank you for the read

[ellajam]

Thanks for your comments, it was my first villanelle, I pulled it to try to edit using some of the things I'm learning here. Loves are the many in a long life, and I meant to guard against what steals one's spirit and I guess that could only be what resides in one's spirit, so yes and yes.

A list of lines is not good, I'll see if I can make anything more of it. Thanks so much.