10-02-2013, 01:03 PM
Under fluorescent light the
ulcer in my lip shines green,
a metal overlay on my snaggle-tooth,
magenta, the pimple inside my nose, (your line breaks here are confusing)
blue.
[I am ugly]
Snickering, a garbage afterthought
with kind deeds rewound--
I imagined a rotting steak (I imagine) ("rotting steak" did you mean "meat, or stake as in wood, or is this suppose to be sexual?)
driven through her cheap dress.
I will take revenge upon
an insolent whore who held (if this is a specific "whore" it should be "the" instead of "an".)
family as reason, yet deliberately plucked tears on
(does "plucked tears" mean the same as cried? I don't really get this)
that beautiful wedding night.
[but you are hideous]
[/quote]
Dale
ulcer in my lip shines green,
a metal overlay on my snaggle-tooth,
magenta, the pimple inside my nose, (your line breaks here are confusing)
blue.
[I am ugly]
Snickering, a garbage afterthought
with kind deeds rewound--
I imagined a rotting steak (I imagine) ("rotting steak" did you mean "meat, or stake as in wood, or is this suppose to be sexual?)
driven through her cheap dress.
I will take revenge upon
an insolent whore who held (if this is a specific "whore" it should be "the" instead of "an".)
family as reason, yet deliberately plucked tears on
(does "plucked tears" mean the same as cried? I don't really get this)
that beautiful wedding night.
[but you are hideous]
[/quote]
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.