10-01-2013, 06:49 AM
(10-01-2013, 02:07 AM)bena Wrote: Octameter, are you kidding me? Even my spellcheck debates that the word exists! I am the worst expert on rhymed, metered poetry and you are far out of my league, but I thought I'd stop by and say that the assonance and alliteration in this piece is so marvellous. I also love the depth of thinking in your 12 line and doubled barrelled couplet....so amazing. I'm thinking that your drum-skin line might need some revision.....I know EXACTLY what you are going for. It's more of a brush on the drums rather than a stick, so perhaps you can sneak that in there. I can't tell you how, trust me.Marry me.
Just my thoughts, loved it!
bena
Best,
tectak
(Erthona will give me away)