Brunch (For fun)

[tectak]

Edit:

If cannibalism was not a sin,
I could devour your delicious skin.
Rich scents are tickling my nose,
Tongue dipping in between your toes.
Teeth scraping up behind your knee,
Could eat you with an English tea.
Your fingertips are sweet corn bread,
Clouding reason in my head.
Your whiskey mouth has made me weak.
I nibble softly on your cheek.
I know I can't resist that ear.
Thank God your tasty shoulder's near.
I don't draw blood but I want to
Greedily ingest all parts of you.
I suppose I should also add
That killing you would make me sad.
The problem that I have, you see,
Is wanting all of you in me.

Original:
I could devour your delicious skin
If cannibalism was not sin.
Rich scents are tickling my nose,
Tongue dancing in between your toes.
Teeth scraping up inside your knee,
I would eat you with an English tea.
Your fingertips are sweet corn bread,
Clouding reason in my head.
Your whiskey mouth has made me weak.
I nibble softly on your cheek.
I know I can't resist your ear.
Thank God your tasty shoulder's near.
I don't draw blood but I want to
Greedily ingest all of you.
I suppose that I should also add
That killing you would make me sad.
The problem that I have, you see,
Is wanting all of you in me.

Hi tigr,
To be alarmingly pleasant, I have to say that this is bloody refreshing. It is, on several levels...good. Good enough,and I am surprised no mod has done this yet,to move in to serious crit. I am a not saying you will benefit from the move...but the crits will. Very well done. If you want it moving back, just say the word.
Best,
tectak