09-29-2013, 12:13 PM
Yay! Thanks for all the input. I appreciate it, even if I decide not to change everything.
I personally enjoy the silly image of me sitting down, very proper with my English tea as I nibble his parts.. so I would like to keep it. But thank you, Versify.
I changed inside his knee to behind. I was going for the inner side.. like inner thigh.. but I see how you could think I meant down to the bone, so I agree with that change.
I have been struggling a bit with the " Greedily ingest all of you" line. I'm not sure what your suggestion meant tho, Billy. "Greadily ingest you" sounds too short to my ears. Also not familiar with the word "twee"..hmm.
Glad you liked my double entendre ending.
I personally enjoy the silly image of me sitting down, very proper with my English tea as I nibble his parts.. so I would like to keep it. But thank you, Versify.
I changed inside his knee to behind. I was going for the inner side.. like inner thigh.. but I see how you could think I meant down to the bone, so I agree with that change.
I have been struggling a bit with the " Greedily ingest all of you" line. I'm not sure what your suggestion meant tho, Billy. "Greadily ingest you" sounds too short to my ears. Also not familiar with the word "twee"..hmm.
Glad you liked my double entendre ending.