09-29-2013, 11:12 AM
the last two lines brought a smile to my face. you see I'm reading this thinking "here we go again, another obsessed psychotic girl" but in the end you bring it back to rational thought of love. very nicely said
I think you could defer from using "english tea" and maybe go in the direction of "blood you bleed?" i think it holds the rhyme well and gets even more gory (which seems to be the style) just a suggestion though
nicely done
I think you could defer from using "english tea" and maybe go in the direction of "blood you bleed?" i think it holds the rhyme well and gets even more gory (which seems to be the style) just a suggestion though
nicely done