Brunch (For fun)

[billy]

me actually bad, i thought it was in the for fun foum sorry jen
will have another read of it.

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it's a light hearted non filth sex/love poem that's cheeky and cheerful.
it makes for a break from some of the other kind of cock and crumpet poems could b tighter but it wouldn't take a lot (and edit or two) to make it better.

i'd suggest trying to find a suitable constant meter (have a look at the meter post) and stick to it.

i got a smile out of it, thanks for the read.

I could devour your delicious skin
If cannibalism was not sin. i'd shove an [a] before sin
Rich scents are tickling my nose, what rich scents?
Tongue dancing in between your toes. dancing feels a bit mmm right, is there a better word that can be used?
Teeth scraping up inside your knee, behind yeah but inside means you're already done to the bone
I would eat you with an English tea.
Your fingertips are sweet corn bread,
Clouding reason in my head.
Your whiskey mouth has made me weak.
I nibble softly on your cheek.
I know I can't resist your ear.
Thank God your tasty shoulder's near.
I don't draw blood but I want to
Greedily ingest all of you. a suggestion would be [the all of you] if just to make it less bumpy
I suppose that I should also add
That killing you would make me sad.
The problem that I have, you see, this line has been used a few times in a few poems (cliche) a suggestion would be [The problem that I have, is twee] and change [Is] to [in] or [i'm]
Is wanting all of you in me. this last line is risqué in the extreme as far as double entendre goes but cheeky with it so it works and makes the poem as light hearted as it needs to be.