09-28-2013, 01:05 AM
(09-27-2013, 10:15 PM)Erthona Wrote: More like 28 bars in boar four time, blues this is not. Eight feet is much too long, it makes for a sleepy song. Plus 16 feet from rhyme to rhyme, your stitch you drop, now out of time. Of course we have had previous discussions regarding the 8 footer, and you insist on continuing to be wrong!Ah, hook line and thinker you old corruptible....take off and circle again....12 bore is the gun he never got to use. 12 lines then the double barelled couplet. Over and under.
"He knows his spoor will slip behind." How poetic! Nature poetry a la Hemingway. Interesting place to apply personification. Gives new meaning to the phrase "God, he's such a boor!"
"on briar thorn and bison grass." Awkward, awkward, awkward.
"palimpsest" will never fit...
...but, you could go with
"On palimpsest sky"
but that is going to screw the second part of the line.
Well I'm glad so see they let you leave Poe-land. Oftentimes people ask to leave and they say "nevermore". Of course that was back in the days of the sickle and star. "Mister Gor-bee-chought tear down this wall!" AH, the great communicator!
Dale
PS definition: palimpsest - Having relations with your buddy who also happens to be close kin.
.....and I LIKE 16ners...gives me time to think
I put sugar in beef casserole to make people ask for more... cheating but not as we know it. Yeah...it is cheesy....but it will get into print like "In Bison Breath". Commissioned, you see.
That palimpsest is a buckaroo...
Ye ha! I got it in the corral! You're just jealous.
Best,
tectak