09-27-2013, 10:15 PM
More like 28 bars in boar four time, blues this is not. Eight feet is much too long, it makes for a sleepy song. Plus 16 feet from rhyme to rhyme, your stitch you drop, now out of time. Of course we have had previous discussions regarding the 8 footer, and you insist on continuing to be wrong!
"He knows his spoor will slip behind." How poetic! Nature poetry a la Hemingway. Interesting place to apply personification. Gives new meaning to the phrase "God, he's such a boor!"
"on briar thorn and bison grass." Awkward, awkward, awkward.
"palimpsest" will never fit...
...but, you could go with
"On palimpsest sky"
but that is going to screw the second part of the line.
Well I'm glad so see they let you leave Poe-land. Oftentimes people ask to leave and they say "nevermore". Of course that was back in the days of the sickle and star. "Mister Gor-bee-chought tear down this wall!" AH, the great communicator!
Dale
PS definition: palimpsest - Having relations with your buddy who also happens to be close kin.
"He knows his spoor will slip behind." How poetic! Nature poetry a la Hemingway. Interesting place to apply personification. Gives new meaning to the phrase "God, he's such a boor!"
"on briar thorn and bison grass." Awkward, awkward, awkward.
"palimpsest" will never fit...
...but, you could go with
"On palimpsest sky"
but that is going to screw the second part of the line.
Well I'm glad so see they let you leave Poe-land. Oftentimes people ask to leave and they say "nevermore". Of course that was back in the days of the sickle and star. "Mister Gor-bee-chought tear down this wall!" AH, the great communicator!
Dale
PS definition: palimpsest - Having relations with your buddy who also happens to be close kin.
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.