09-26-2013, 08:02 AM
(09-25-2013, 04:10 PM)Snags Wrote: Nice. It's kind of obvious where it's going (excluding the last line), but none the worse for that. Some good images in the juxtapositions of events inside and outside the church. Balancing on the edge between narrative and poetic (for me).Thanks snags for taking the time and thanks for the mistakes, I've done a quick edit, I agree this one is telegraphed on ahead I find it hard to balance between being to obvious and not getting my point across, I also agree it's a bit to prose. Many thanks TOMH
A couple of typos: s1l1 s/fly's/flies and s7l3 s/statues/statue's
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out