09-20-2013, 12:05 PM
"Those wenches
have, more on their mind,
I am simply a captain,
in their shrine."
should read
Those wenches have,
more on their mind,
I'm simply a captain,
in their shrine.
------------------------------
All I want is to suck
and see, on my pipe
out at sea.
maybe
All I want
is to suck and see,
on my pipe
far out at sea.
more accentual verse than straight meter, but it works for me.
-----------------------------
The last three stanzas are also a bit off, but I'll leave them to you.
Dale
have, more on their mind,
I am simply a captain,
in their shrine."
should read
Those wenches have,
more on their mind,
I'm simply a captain,
in their shrine.
------------------------------
All I want is to suck
and see, on my pipe
out at sea.
maybe
All I want
is to suck and see,
on my pipe
far out at sea.
more accentual verse than straight meter, but it works for me.
-----------------------------
The last three stanzas are also a bit off, but I'll leave them to you.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.