09-10-2013, 04:32 PM
Hey! I liked the poem. It sounds like maybe you're a parent. I recently became one for the first time myself and this is something I could see myself feeling for my son. So, in that respect, it's a wonderful poem. Any time you write something people can relate to, you've done a good job. Grammatically, in the third stanza..change hand to hang. I'm not sure how I feel about the "just look to the sky" line. It makes it seem like you're dead. But you can't be, unless someone posted this for you posthumously. Those would be the two things I would look at. Great write!