Hale

[Malu]

the poem is very generic. is Spirt a word? the images where use are stale and a lot of the poem are givens. some of the Hawaiian words place the poem but not to a specific island.

Paradise words like this need be shown, not spoken. in this instance it could be removed and the poem would lose nothing.
Where the tropical sun shines
Isolated by the ocean, isolated would be enough, let's not forget that oceans also connect instead of by the ocean, use a simile or metaphor; isolated pearls or something connect with the islands
With waterfalls of majesty
That dance down foliage covered mountains
And cold ponds of surrender

This is where I am complete
I am myself
As the Aloha Spirt fills the air
With every breathe I take
I will never forget
Growing up in a true Paradise
Is a Blessing unlike any other

This is my 'Ohana
Where my 'Aumakua lived
This is my Inoa
Who I am

And it's where My Heart calls Home

Thank you! That is constructive and what I was looking for

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I mean it just seems the same old stuff that anybody could jot down in a few seconds.

Well I did only spend a few minutes on it, there is a little bit more to it than you think, but I just didn't do that awesome of a job getting my feelings across to the reader. But by you just saying the rest doesn't offer much, doesn't offer me anything. I understand critique, and when people give their ideas and opinions on how to strengthen a poem, but what you gave was positive for the one line you liked and then negative for the rest. I understand if you feel like nothing is there for the rest of the poem, but I would hope that instead of just saying there isn't much, you could try to help build my poem and suggest I need better vocabulary or wording or in this case anything. That would actually be helpful.

part of the problem may be the time spent. The chances of writing a good poem in a few minutes is slightly less than winning the lottery with your first ticket.

You end up writing more tired worn out phrases, like you have here.

Thanks for criticism that was constructive this time! Now I can work on becoming a better poet with feedback like this.