Hale

[Malu]

Your manner and style is trite. The way you write. At least in this poem. That's my critique of it. It doesn't offer enough to have much said about it. So basically, what I'm saying is to try harder. If I didn't keep responding to you, this post would most likely sink into Novice obscurity after a day or two.

Ok, that's your critique, I guess the message I was trying to get across was to be more constructive.

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You can build your own poem.

Other people might see something more than I do in what you have here. But I see nothing but trite utterances after the first stanza. The first stanza is sort of trite too, but at least it sounds pretty.

I know I can build my own poem, thanks for the reminder. But help is what would be appreciated. If you don't see anything in this poem then I'm confused as to why you would choose to comment on it, of all the threads out there. And I find it funny you find the second part overused when you I think you don't even know what some of the words mean.

he saw it as being trite that in itself should tell you a lot about the poem/ you have no idea what anyone knows/ keep comments to the poem and the poet or critc/mod

Sorry Billy, but I was just trying to imply that I don't understand how you can view something as overused and trite if they might not even know much about it. It didn't really add up to me, that's all. I wasn't trying to insinuate anything else.