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Hale
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09-09-2013, 10:05 AM
This, to me, feels somewhat unimaginative. Lines 2-4 for instance. I think you could find a more original way of describing an isolated, tropical island with waterfalls. L1 in S2: 'Here is where' sounds awkward to me; in several places the wording seems a bit peculiar. JMHO of course.
Best, LB |
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| Messages In This Thread |
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RE: Hale - by rowens - 09-09-2013, 09:45 AM
RE: Hale - by Volaticus - 09-09-2013, 10:05 AM
RE: Hale - by rowens - 09-09-2013, 10:42 AM
RE: Hale - by rowens - 09-09-2013, 11:26 AM
RE: Hale - by rowens - 09-09-2013, 11:44 AM
RE: Hale - by BigRed - 09-16-2013, 05:05 AM
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