Falling

[Keith]

Hi Keith,

This is coming along nicely, the second edit is pretty smooth. The only thing I'm having trouble with is the the couplet, because the consonance isn't there. But I pronounce it "agehn". Consonance are usually usually stronger than assonance when using near/ half rhymes.

I'm sure you probably pronounce the hard A and it most likely rhymes fine for you. Just my thoughts.

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One other thought, if you could find a way to shift "rain"out to the end of the line, you would have a much stronger line break on a noun, and the rhyme would work better too, because of the "r" sound.

I see what your saying just not sure how to sort it yet so thanks I will have a think. Bets TOMH

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Hi Keith,

This is coming along nicely, the second edit is pretty smooth. The only thing I'm having trouble with is the the couplet, because the consonance isn't there. But I pronounce it "agehn". Consonance are usually usually stronger than assonance when using near/ half rhymes.

I'm sure you probably pronounce the hard A and it most likely rhymes fine for you. Just my thoughts.

---

One other thought, if you could find a way to shift "rain"out to the end of the line, you would have a much stronger line break on a noun, and the rhyme would work better too, because of the "r" sound.

again, the window tastes the tap of rain - ?

Thank you Milo I will take that. Best TOMH