Saying Goodbye (first edit)

[fim]

A Difficult Farewell
Revision 1

Moisture collected below sky-blue eyes
that seemed to darken to slate gray,
my mind swirling, sickened and groping,
aware life would never be the same;

joy would never be as abundant,
peace never as serene,
emptiness a new life-long companion,
hope relinquished only to dreams.

Comfort was decimated by frantic anguish
in my final embrace with my son
the military would make the boy a man
a transformation that can’t be undone.

My smile cracked then completely collapsed
as he turned and slipped out of sight;
as I listlessly lumbered toward the parking lot
disturbing scenarios flittering through my mind:

my feet were covered with mud and moss,
I’d wandered from the trail.
My eyes dart about for a familiar feature
desperately … but to no avail;

I glared at the batter with resolute disdain,
ground the ball deep in a well-worn mitt,
elevated my arms as I twisted and kicked,
without a clue as to what I might pitch;

I slid a stack of pricey chips
beyond the betting line
then gazed blankly at an elevated infinity
oblivious to the dance of the die;

I radioed for takeoff clearance,
the tower released me to fly,
I pushed the power levers forward,
taking off without a flight plan on file.

I dropped you off at the airport,
got in the truck and headed home,
unnerved by the realization …
that life's color seemed completely gone.

[tectak]

Hi fim,
you could be forgiven for wondering why some of the Serious Crits are pedandic arsehole reconstructors such as me, when you write an otherwise perfectly acceptable piece but deny yourself the accolade due to you because, if not wholly then partly, you fail to punctuate to any degree. We ask: can you? Do you not want to? Do you think it is a valid or somehow creative ommission? To compound the imprecision overwhelmingly featured, you capitalise every line. Why? Did some long past but remembered poem you read exhibit this idiosyncrasy?
Onward.
A Difficult Farewell

A light vanished from my life
Quiet settles where warmth had been silence and darkness and warmth are not mutually exclusive and quietness is most certainly not fungible with warmth.Needs looking at
Dullness obscures my senses....and I am not convinced that dullness ever obscures. Your poetic license may be endorsed...three points
A total stranger walks in cliche and a universally bad one.

My feet are covered with mud and moss
I’ve wandered from the trail
My eyes dart about for a familiar feature
Any recognizable detail Tripping meter and though a forced rhyme it gets away with it because it seems an unforced error...accidents happen.

I pushed the stacks of expensive chips
Beyond the betting line
Then gaze blankly at an elevated infinity
Oblivious to the roll of the die Huh? You have had a gush of poetic piss which caught you unawares. This is called incontinent prose in our house. I am wetted by it but do not like it.

I radioed for takeoff clearance
Received a release to fly
Pushed the power levers forward
Without a flight plan on file It must be me, but I am just not prepared to work on meaning.We are in twin-engined prop driven something and we are about to discourse on...er...batter? Sorry. I need that flight plan.

I glared at the batter with resolute disdain
Ground the ball deep in a well-worn mitt
Elevated my arms as I twisted and kicked
Without a clue as to what I might pitch

I dropped you off at the airport
Got in the truck and drove down the street
It took a while before I realized
The guy in the truck wasn’t me.Well, that's a relief. I am not crazy after all. You (the character, billy, the character)are.

Some like obscurity. I like intent to be obscure. This lacks the one and has the other in spades. You choose. Your poem.
I do not dislike it but it seems to irritate itself past the point of endurance, like a persistent itch in the small of my back. I cannot quite reach it so I need someone else to scratch. Good luck.
Best,
tectak

[fim]

Hi fim,
you could be forgiven for wondering why some of the Serious Crits are pedandic arsehole reconstructors such as me, when you write an otherwise perfectly acceptable piece but deny yourself the accolade due to you because, if not wholly then partly, you fail to punctuate to any degree. We ask: can you? Do you not want to? Do you think it is a valid or somehow creative ommission? To compound the imprecision overwhelmingly featured, you capitalise every line. Why? Did some long past but remembered poem you read exhibit this idiosyncrasy?
Onward.
A Difficult Farewell

A light vanished from my life
Quiet settles where warmth had been silence and darkness and warmth are not mutually exclusive and quietness is most certainly not fungible with warmth.Needs looking at
Dullness obscures my senses....and I am not convinced that dullness ever obscures. Your poetic license may be endorsed...three points
A total stranger walks in cliche and a universally bad one.

My feet are covered with mud and moss
I’ve wandered from the trail
My eyes dart about for a familiar feature
Any recognizable detail Tripping meter and though a forced rhyme it gets away with it because it seems an unforced error...accidents happen.

I pushed the stacks of expensive chips
Beyond the betting line
Then gaze blankly at an elevated infinity
Oblivious to the roll of the die Huh? You have had a gush of poetic piss which caught you unawares. This is called incontinent prose in our house. I am wetted by it but do not like it.

I radioed for takeoff clearance
Received a release to fly
Pushed the power levers forward
Without a flight plan on file It must be me, but I am just not prepared to work on meaning.We are in twin-engined prop driven something and we are about to discourse on...er...batter? Sorry. I need that flight plan.

I glared at the batter with resolute disdain
Ground the ball deep in a well-worn mitt
Elevated my arms as I twisted and kicked
Without a clue as to what I might pitch

I dropped you off at the airport
Got in the truck and drove down the street
It took a while before I realized
The guy in the truck wasn’t me.Well, that's a relief. I am not crazy after all. You (the character, billy, the character)are.

Some like obscurity. I like intent to be obscure. This lacks the one and has the other in spades. You choose. Your poem.
I do not dislike it but it seems to irritate itself past the point of endurance, like a persistent itch in the small of my back. I cannot quite reach it so I need someone else to scratch. Good luck.
Best,
tectak

Thank you tectak. I really appreciate your feedback. My take-aways: use punctuation!!!, look up "fungible", don't argue with someone who took the time to thoroughly evaluate and provide extensive, cogent feedback that dullness absolutely obscures senses (the former boxer in me talking ... I think a sense of "dullness" precludes many knockouts), clichés and poetry don't seem to go together and those are just a result of brief consideration. Much more consideration is in order prior to Edit #1. I love "_Some like obscurity. I like intent to be obscure. This lacks the one and has the other in spades."
Great job!
fim
Thanks again

[tectak]

Hi fim,
you could be forgiven for wondering why some of the Serious Crits are pedandic arsehole reconstructors such as me, when you write an otherwise perfectly acceptable piece but deny yourself the accolade due to you because, if not wholly then partly, you fail to punctuate to any degree. We ask: can you? Do you not want to? Do you think it is a valid or somehow creative ommission? To compound the imprecision overwhelmingly featured, you capitalise every line. Why? Did some long past but remembered poem you read exhibit this idiosyncrasy?
Onward.
A Difficult Farewell

A light vanished from my life
Quiet settles where warmth had been silence and darkness and warmth are not mutually exclusive and quietness is most certainly not fungible with warmth.Needs looking at
Dullness obscures my senses....and I am not convinced that dullness ever obscures. Your poetic license may be endorsed...three points
A total stranger walks in cliche and a universally bad one.

My feet are covered with mud and moss
I’ve wandered from the trail
My eyes dart about for a familiar feature
Any recognizable detail Tripping meter and though a forced rhyme it gets away with it because it seems an unforced error...accidents happen.

I pushed the stacks of expensive chips
Beyond the betting line
Then gaze blankly at an elevated infinity
Oblivious to the roll of the die Huh? You have had a gush of poetic piss which caught you unawares. This is called incontinent prose in our house. I am wetted by it but do not like it.

I radioed for takeoff clearance
Received a release to fly
Pushed the power levers forward
Without a flight plan on file It must be me, but I am just not prepared to work on meaning.We are in twin-engined prop driven something and we are about to discourse on...er...batter? Sorry. I need that flight plan.

I glared at the batter with resolute disdain
Ground the ball deep in a well-worn mitt
Elevated my arms as I twisted and kicked
Without a clue as to what I might pitch

I dropped you off at the airport
Got in the truck and drove down the street
It took a while before I realized
The guy in the truck wasn’t me.Well, that's a relief. I am not crazy after all. You (the character, billy, the character)are.

Some like obscurity. I like intent to be obscure. This lacks the one and has the other in spades. You choose. Your poem.
I do not dislike it but it seems to irritate itself past the point of endurance, like a persistent itch in the small of my back. I cannot quite reach it so I need someone else to scratch. Good luck.
Best,
tectak

Thank you tectak. I really appreciate your feedback. My take-aways: use punctuation!!!, look up "fungible", don't argue with someone who took the time to thoroughly evaluate and provide extensive, cogent feedback that dullness absolutely obscures senses (the former boxer in me talking ... I think a sense of "dullness" precludes many knockouts), clichés and poetry don't seem to go together and those are just a result of brief consideration. Much more consideration is in order prior to Edit #1. I love "_Some like obscurity. I like intent to be obscure. This lacks the one and has the other in spades."
Great job!
fim
Thanks again

You are a good egg.
I look forward to your workshopping.
Best,
tectak

[fim]

Hi fim,
you could be forgiven for wondering why some of the Serious Crits are pedandic arsehole reconstructors such as me, when you write an otherwise perfectly acceptable piece but deny yourself the accolade due to you because, if not wholly then partly, you fail to punctuate to any degree. We ask: can you? Do you not want to? Do you think it is a valid or somehow creative ommission? To compound the imprecision overwhelmingly featured, you capitalise every line. Why? Did some long past but remembered poem you read exhibit this idiosyncrasy?
Onward.
A Difficult Farewell

A light vanished from my life
Quiet settles where warmth had been silence and darkness and warmth are not mutually exclusive and quietness is most certainly not fungible with warmth.Needs looking at
Dullness obscures my senses....and I am not convinced that dullness ever obscures. Your poetic license may be endorsed...three points
A total stranger walks in cliche and a universally bad one.

My feet are covered with mud and moss
I’ve wandered from the trail
My eyes dart about for a familiar feature
Any recognizable detail Tripping meter and though a forced rhyme it gets away with it because it seems an unforced error...accidents happen.

I pushed the stacks of expensive chips
Beyond the betting line
Then gaze blankly at an elevated infinity
Oblivious to the roll of the die Huh? You have had a gush of poetic piss which caught you unawares. This is called incontinent prose in our house. I am wetted by it but do not like it.

I radioed for takeoff clearance
Received a release to fly
Pushed the power levers forward
Without a flight plan on file It must be me, but I am just not prepared to work on meaning.We are in twin-engined prop driven something and we are about to discourse on...er...batter? Sorry. I need that flight plan.

I glared at the batter with resolute disdain
Ground the ball deep in a well-worn mitt
Elevated my arms as I twisted and kicked
Without a clue as to what I might pitch

I dropped you off at the airport
Got in the truck and drove down the street
It took a while before I realized
The guy in the truck wasn’t me.Well, that's a relief. I am not crazy after all. You (the character, billy, the character)are.

Some like obscurity. I like intent to be obscure. This lacks the one and has the other in spades. You choose. Your poem.
I do not dislike it but it seems to irritate itself past the point of endurance, like a persistent itch in the small of my back. I cannot quite reach it so I need someone else to scratch. Good luck.
Best,
tectak

tectak,
I like my poem ... but I like your critique considerably more. It intrigues me; you lured me in with the "otherwise perfectly acceptable piece" (in the serious critique forum no less) before gutting me with the (very legitimate) concerns regarding punctuation and capitalization. Your, "Some like obscurity. I like intent to be obscure. This lacks the one and has the other in spades." mesmerizes me. It isn't just your cogent insight, it is the way you masterfully crafted the description of that insight. I guess that is what we do ... we are, after all, poets, wordsmiths. You sure do it well.
OK that is all I am going to say because I know we aren't supposed to say nice things in this forum, but I REALLY like your critique ... and appreciate it, and that is all I will say about that ... even though I am sure I will read it many times more.
A final - THANKS
fim

[billy]

the narrators voice is very weak, the poem flits through snapshots of tell without any connection to other parts of the poem, are they all separate ways of saying goodbye? i think the reader needs more from the poem than what's being given. a few cliches that would be better removed and replaced with more originalty. at present it's verging on being prose,

thanks for the read.

A Difficult Farewell

A light vanished from my life
Quiet settles where warmth had been
Dullness obscures my senses
A total stranger walks in feels like to much telling us to little, someone is going away is what i have after the 1st stanza and that was given to me by the title.

My feet are covered with mud and moss this is a good concrete image
I’ve wandered from the trail
My eyes dart about for a familiar feature
Any recognizable detail this line's redundant

I pushed the stacks of expensive chips too wordy [I pushed the chips] or some derivative would suffice and make it a stronger line, try and make a stronger image, [i ushered the chips]
Beyond the betting line
Then gaze blankly at an elevated infinity should be gazed as pushed is past tense
Oblivious to the roll of the die a suggestion would be to alter the phrase [roll of the die] as it's a cliche a suggestion would be [dance of the die]

I radioed for takeoff clearance how did we get here?
Received a release to fly
Pushed the power levers forward
Without a flight plan on file this stanza is very tell and not show.

I glared at the batter with resolute disdain
Ground the ball deep in a well-worn mitt
Elevated my arms as I twisted and kicked
Without a clue as to what I might pitch it's beginning to feel like a train of thought poem because you jump from one act to another without there being a connection. give the read something to hold onto or follow

I dropped you off at the airport
Got in the truck and drove down the street
It took a while before I realized
The guy in the truck wasn’t me. too forced, trite or whatever it's called. it feels like you just plonked the last line down because you were in a hurry.

[tectak]

Some like obscurity. I like intent to be obscure. This lacks the one and has the other in spades. You choose. Your poem.
I do not dislike it but it seems to irritate itself past the point of endurance, like a persistent itch in the small of my back. I cannot quite reach it so I need someone else to scratch. Good luck.
Best,
tectak

Thank you tectak. I really appreciate your feedback. My take-aways: use punctuation!!!, look up "fungible", don't argue with someone who took the time to thoroughly evaluate and provide extensive, cogent feedback that dullness absolutely obscures senses (the former boxer in me talking ... I think a sense of "dullness" precludes many knockouts), clichés and poetry don't seem to go together and those are just a result of brief consideration. Much more consideration is in order prior to Edit #1. I love "_Some like obscurity. I like intent to be obscure. This lacks the one and has the other in spades."
Great job!
fim
Thanks again

You are a good egg.
I look forward to your workshopping.
Best,
tectak

Not "senses", meaning ALL senses.

Obscure:
1.Keep from being seen; conceal.(Sense of sight...the normal meaning)
2.Make unclear and difficult to understand.(Sense of understanding...the poetic meaning)
Sense of touch? No
Sense of smell?No
Sense of hearing? No but could be stretched to include.
Temperature? No
So not " Dullness obscures my senses...."
but just maybe "Dullness declines my senses..."
OK?
Best,
tectak

[fim]

Thank you tectak. I really appreciate your feedback. My take-aways: use punctuation!!!, look up "fungible", don't argue with someone who took the time to thoroughly evaluate and provide extensive, cogent feedback that dullness absolutely obscures senses (the former boxer in me talking ... I think a sense of "dullness" precludes many knockouts), clichés and poetry don't seem to go together and those are just a result of brief consideration. Much more consideration is in order prior to Edit #1. I love "_Some like obscurity. I like intent to be obscure. This lacks the one and has the other in spades."
Great job!
fim
Thanks again

You are a good egg.
I look forward to your workshopping.
Best,
tectak

Not "senses", meaning ALL senses.

Obscure:
1.Keep from being seen; conceal.(Sense of sight...the normal meaning)
2.Make unclear and difficult to understand.(Sense of understanding...the poetic meaning)
Sense of touch? No
Sense of smell?No
Sense of hearing? No but could be stretched to include.
Temperature? No
So not " Dullness obscures my senses...."
but just maybe "Dullness declines my senses..."
OK?
Best,
tectak

Revision 1 for your consideration.

[tectak]

A Difficult Farewell
Revision 1

Moisture collected below sky-blue eyes
that seemed to darken to slate gray,This is a complete sentence so full stop.Watch out for "seemed". It is misused often.
my mind swirling, sickened and groping, My mind was...
aware life would never be the same; This is complete sentence so full stop. "aware that life..."

joy would never be as abundant,
peace never as serene,
emptiness a new life-long companion,
hope relinquished only to dreams. A long sentence but with good behaviour it seems shorter.

Comfort was decimated by frantic anguish
in my final embrace with my son This is a complete sentence so full stop. Watch out for decimated...it means divided by ten. You may mean more.Destroyed?
the military would make the boy a mansemi colon to link to next line in a determined way
a transformation that can’t be undone.

My smile cracked then completely collapsed
as he turned and slipped out of sight;
as I listlessly lumbered toward the parking lotas as. Drop the second one. "as" here means chronologically concommitent...you do not need to "as" the tense you are in. It means nothing.
disturbing scenarios flittering through my mind: Just a full stop UNLESS you are going to list your imaginings....but you are not.

my feet were covered with mud and moss, Reality so no problem with recall...but watch out!
I’d wandered from the trail.
My eyes dart about for a familiar feature Bingo! Tense shift! My eyes DARTED!
desperately … but to no avail; You are suffering from colonic discharge! Full stop here. You are not looking where you are going....or where you have been

I glared at the batter with resolute disdain, Please, batsman...for me.Tempura fugit
ground the ball deep in a well-worn mitt,
elevated my arms as I twisted and kicked,
without a clue as to what I might pitch; full stop

I slid a stack of pricey chips
beyond the betting line
then gazed blankly at an elevated infinity
oblivious to the dance of the die; Good stanza, good cameo, good gestalt, good concept, good closure...so FULL STOP!

I radioed for takeoff clearance,
the tower released me to fly, This is a complete sentence so full stop
I pushed the power levers forward,
taking off without a flight plan on file.

I dropped you off at the airport,
got in the truck and headed home, Sheesh! a semi colon here as you carry the action into the next line.
unnerved by the realization … I like ellipses. They make two of us pause.Your character and me...but why here? You have had a "realization". Why pause?
that life's color seemed completely gone. How do you reconcile "seemed" and "completely". Choose one or the other. There are no degrees of "completely" so if it has gone completely it has gone...no doubt, it would seem

Hi fim,
Much improved. Not so much telepathy required. This is coming home to stay...just give it its own room.
Best,
tectak

[fim]

A Difficult Farewell
Revision 1

Moisture collected below sky-blue eyes
that seemed to darken to slate gray,This is a complete sentence so full stop.Watch out for "seemed". It is misused often.
my mind swirling, sickened and groping, My mind was...
aware life would never be the same; This is complete sentence so full stop. "aware that life..."

joy would never be as abundant,
peace never as serene,
emptiness a new life-long companion,
hope relinquished only to dreams. A long sentence but with good behaviour it seems shorter.

Comfort was decimated by frantic anguish
in my final embrace with my son This is a complete sentence so full stop. Watch out for decimated...it means divided by ten. You may mean more.Destroyed?
the military would make the boy a mansemi colon to link to next line in a determined way
a transformation that can’t be undone.

My smile cracked then completely collapsed
as he turned and slipped out of sight;
as I listlessly lumbered toward the parking lotas as. Drop the second one. "as" here means chronologically concommitent...you do not need to "as" the tense you are in. It means nothing.
disturbing scenarios flittering through my mind: Just a full stop UNLESS you are going to list your imaginings....but you are not.

my feet were covered with mud and moss, Reality so no problem with recall...but watch out!
I’d wandered from the trail.
My eyes dart about for a familiar feature Bingo! Tense shift! My eyes DARTED!
desperately … but to no avail; You are suffering from colonic discharge! Full stop here. You are not looking where you are going....or where you have been

I glared at the batter with resolute disdain, Please, batsman...for me.Tempura fugit
ground the ball deep in a well-worn mitt,
elevated my arms as I twisted and kicked,
without a clue as to what I might pitch; full stop

I slid a stack of pricey chips
beyond the betting line
then gazed blankly at an elevated infinity
oblivious to the dance of the die; Good stanza, good cameo, good gestalt, good concept, good closure...so FULL STOP!

I radioed for takeoff clearance,
the tower released me to fly, This is a complete sentence so full stop
I pushed the power levers forward,
taking off without a flight plan on file.

I dropped you off at the airport,
got in the truck and headed home, Sheesh! a semi colon here as you carry the action into the next line.
unnerved by the realization … I like ellipses. They make two of us pause.Your character and me...but why here? You have had a "realization". Why pause?
that life's color seemed completely gone. How do you reconcile "seemed" and "completely". Choose one or the other. There are no degrees of "completely" so if it has gone completely it has gone...no doubt, it would seem

Hi fim,
Much improved. Not so much telepathy required. This is coming home to stay...just give it its own room.
Best,
tectak

tectak,
Man you are good!!! I really appreciate your time ... and expertise! I am going to ruminate on all of your insight before Rev. 2. There is a lot there for me to grasp. Thanks to you and others here @ TPP I am blossoming ... as a person and a poet. I think a lot of people in my life think I am getting weird. Maybe I am, though if that be the case, it is only because I am weird ... a weirdo poet. I can live with that.
fim

PS you must be British or something ... three times I changed "batter" to "hitter" ... but it doesn't work. I thought about using a baseball icon's name to avoid using "batter." Here in America most kids are indoctrinated into the culture of baseball at a young age. It might seem rude, but when a batter is in the batter's box and being pitched to ... we yell, "Hey batter, batter, batter!!!" as loud as we can to distract them from getting a hit.

I'll change it.

You have heard of Simon and Garfunkel?
When I publish my poems someday don't be surprised to hear that some are by "fim & tectak."
Thanks again,
fim

[tectak]

A Difficult Farewell
Revision 1

Moisture collected below sky-blue eyes
that seemed to darken to slate gray,This is a complete sentence so full stop.Watch out for "seemed". It is misused often.
my mind swirling, sickened and groping, My mind was...
aware life would never be the same; This is complete sentence so full stop. "aware that life..."

joy would never be as abundant,
peace never as serene,
emptiness a new life-long companion,
hope relinquished only to dreams. A long sentence but with good behaviour it seems shorter.

Comfort was decimated by frantic anguish
in my final embrace with my son This is a complete sentence so full stop. Watch out for decimated...it means divided by ten. You may mean more.Destroyed?
the military would make the boy a mansemi colon to link to next line in a determined way
a transformation that can’t be undone.

My smile cracked then completely collapsed
as he turned and slipped out of sight;
as I listlessly lumbered toward the parking lotas as. Drop the second one. "as" here means chronologically concommitent...you do not need to "as" the tense you are in. It means nothing.
disturbing scenarios flittering through my mind: Just a full stop UNLESS you are going to list your imaginings....but you are not.

my feet were covered with mud and moss, Reality so no problem with recall...but watch out!
I’d wandered from the trail.
My eyes dart about for a familiar feature Bingo! Tense shift! My eyes DARTED!
desperately … but to no avail; You are suffering from colonic discharge! Full stop here. You are not looking where you are going....or where you have been

I glared at the batter with resolute disdain, Please, batsman...for me.Tempura fugit
ground the ball deep in a well-worn mitt,
elevated my arms as I twisted and kicked,
without a clue as to what I might pitch; full stop

I slid a stack of pricey chips
beyond the betting line
then gazed blankly at an elevated infinity
oblivious to the dance of the die; Good stanza, good cameo, good gestalt, good concept, good closure...so FULL STOP!

I radioed for takeoff clearance,
the tower released me to fly, This is a complete sentence so full stop
I pushed the power levers forward,
taking off without a flight plan on file.

I dropped you off at the airport,
got in the truck and headed home, Sheesh! a semi colon here as you carry the action into the next line.
unnerved by the realization … I like ellipses. They make two of us pause.Your character and me...but why here? You have had a "realization". Why pause?
that life's color seemed completely gone. How do you reconcile "seemed" and "completely". Choose one or the other. There are no degrees of "completely" so if it has gone completely it has gone...no doubt, it would seem

Hi fim,
Much improved. Not so much telepathy required. This is coming home to stay...just give it its own room.
Best,
tectak

tectak,
Man you are good!!! I really appreciate your time ... and expertise! I am going to ruminate on all of your insight before Rev. 2. There is a lot there for me to grasp. Thanks to you and others here @ TPP I am blossoming ... as a person and a poet. I think a lot of people in my life think I am getting weird. Maybe I am, though if that be the case, it is only because I am weird ... a weirdo poet. I can live with that.
fim

PS you must be British or something ... three times I changed "batter" to "hitter" ... but it doesn't work. I thought about using a baseball icon's name to avoid using "batter." Here in America most kids are indoctrinated into the culture of baseball at a young age. It might seem rude, but when a batter is in the batter's box and being pitched to ... we yell, "Hey batter, batter, batter!!!" as loud as we can to distract them from getting a hit.

I'll change it.

You have heard of Simon and Garfunkel?
When I publish my poems someday don't be surprised to hear that some are by "fim & tectak."
Thanks again,
fim

Hi fim,
Yes..I'm British or something. Trouble is, there are many more somethings than British OR American. "Batter" is universally a flour/water mix for deep frying...known from China to Cheltenham. A "batter" in your world is uniquely American, as to a degree "batsman" is probably more British than something BUT, as the man with the cricket bat said to the American " If I hit it or miss it I am still a batsman...". To which the American replied, "Hmm, in America, we miss it two times out of three but I am still a batter"

Tempura anyone, or Ich bin ein Berliner?
Best,
tectak