Perspective

[Leanne]

I don't normally say this (as all will testify), but this is incredibly powerful writing. You have used very simple techniques to bring home a strong message that is not watered down by over-writing, as can so often happen.

I will suggest only that you look at where you've placed your line breaks in the first strophe of III, as breaking on prepositions can be distracting. It's absolutely not terminal though.

Thank you for this.