Facepalm x1000

[brainiac]

Facepalm x1000

I'm an idiot,
It's official.

All my life I've considered myself to be a tomboy,
a boyish girl.
Always playing with boys,
running around,
getting my hands dirty.

The disapproving looks await me at home,
as my mother finds yet another dirt stain on my shirt.
What can I say?
I love to play.

So many afternoons spent under the blistering sun,
kneedeep in dirt, digging for treasure,
that's not there.

We were fooling ourselves,
I was fooling myself.
I was not a boy,
I had the parts to prove it.

I am fooling myself,
I'm not a tomboy,
I'm a girl.

A girl who met a boy,
I hated him at first.
Ditto.
He hated me too.

But then that feeling passed.
Only to be replaced.
With what?
Curiosity, companionship, friendship-
admiration, desire, lust?

Shame on me.

Shame on me,
for thinking that what I was experiencing was being mirrored.
Shame on me,
for thinking you could ever like me.
Shame on me,
for thinking that you could ever get over her.
Shame on me,
for thinking you could see in me, what I see in you.

[g681899]

I think to receive feedback you have to give it first. But I am in this same predicament. I know little of poetry, but I also realise the benefits of critique.

It feels like there are two stories here. One is about a tomboy, the other is one of love. While I can imagine that a more detailed version of the story you tell may lead to the other, there is no clear correlation between the two for the reader. Did the tomboy traits create the issues between the girl and boy?

Either make two stories, or bring unity between the two.

One starts…
I'm an idiot,
It's official.

… then continues from
A girl who met a boy,

Great use of repetition at the end, it creates a great impact.

[ChristopherSea]

I see the 'idiot' and the tomboy as one, but I don't feel that the opening is needed, especially as recycled as it is. These lines are good:
The disapproving looks await me at home,
as my mother finds yet another dirt stain on my shirt.

So many afternoons spent under the blistering sun,
kneedeep in dirt, digging for treasure,
that's not there.

But: 'What can I say? I love to play.' weakens them.
I would remove the stand alone 'shame on me', use the first and last ones, but remove the two other intervening ones. Strike the 'x 1000' in the title. One facepalm works. All the best with your poetry!