No Longer Twelve

[ChristopherSea]

There have been several edits of this I first read this and I like it more now. I did want to say that in the case of a double etheree the second part is often used to mirror the first, so I see no problem with repetition. I realize that line 8 is a significant one for you, but if you can shorten it a little the shape of your poem will be perfect. The open shoulder sounds slighty odd to me. Maybe only me, ha ha... Keep at it!