08-14-2013, 08:13 PM
ray, I like your idea of developing the characters.
Volaticus, thanks for the detailed critique. The line by line comments will really help, I plan on editing further. Don't worry about being harsh, I can take it
RC, I too felt like I was being repetitive but was having trouble thinking of a different way of expressing myself. I'm going to try to change blue tears to something more original, there are just so many cliches out there!
Thanks for the crit everyone!
Volaticus, thanks for the detailed critique. The line by line comments will really help, I plan on editing further. Don't worry about being harsh, I can take it
RC, I too felt like I was being repetitive but was having trouble thinking of a different way of expressing myself. I'm going to try to change blue tears to something more original, there are just so many cliches out there!
Thanks for the crit everyone!