08-14-2013, 06:04 PM
As was already mentioned by a poster, I didn';t quite understand the pale pink silken rope:
I never expected anything
but I had a ray of hope,
that curled around emotions
like a pale pink silken rope.
...however I too loved the way it read! Something to do with it coiling, curling, around emotions. Mentioned as a ray of hope (light, good, hope, etc.) whereas curing around emotions like a pale rope implies strangulation, tied down,. restrictred etc. which is perhaps why I found it intriguing, antithesis. If you'd like to, could you explain? Not trying to pick apart your work, I'm just rather interested at what YOU were trying to portray.
Yep, agree with Jester just opinions, I'm certainly not qualified for critique. Also worth a mention, you intro'd your poem by asking for comments and stating you're braced for them, which I take as "don't be afraid to be harsh", perhaps this is why you received a little more than bargained for.
Thanks for sharing Scurry!
I never expected anything
but I had a ray of hope,
that curled around emotions
like a pale pink silken rope.
...however I too loved the way it read! Something to do with it coiling, curling, around emotions. Mentioned as a ray of hope (light, good, hope, etc.) whereas curing around emotions like a pale rope implies strangulation, tied down,. restrictred etc. which is perhaps why I found it intriguing, antithesis. If you'd like to, could you explain? Not trying to pick apart your work, I'm just rather interested at what YOU were trying to portray.
Yep, agree with Jester just opinions, I'm certainly not qualified for critique. Also worth a mention, you intro'd your poem by asking for comments and stating you're braced for them, which I take as "don't be afraid to be harsh", perhaps this is why you received a little more than bargained for.
Thanks for sharing Scurry!