Falling

[Keith]

I am not one to critique sonnets very well, but I’ll try. L3 needs one more beat, L7 one less. I won’t check your iambs, as there are plenty here that will. I saw a little fairy herein, but some descriptors might fit a hummingbird if you put wings on it. I have a garden statuette that would fit in here quite nicely. The title may suggest something else. The last two couplets are my favorite./Chris

Chris thank you for the feedback I will try and sort out the beats, I like the things you see within the lines, almost a poem in their own right. Best Keith

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lots to like Keith. it's a great attempt at a sonnet and the meter is almost nailed. i'm presuming falling is falling in love? thanks to leanne and milo and trueenigma, i'm beginning to see the worth of breaking the strict iambic meter, i'd go over it though to make sure you know where it did break from it's strictness.
solid love poem, i enjoyed the read.

You're dancing barefoot in the morning dew,
to lose yourself in nature's waking call.
Garden freshness seems to breathe through you a suggestion would be [the garden's freshness ....] in order to reclaim the lost half foot
and spiders spin their webs lest you should fall.
Your lips sip pure water from a flower, i stumbled here a bit on the meter.
that bows its head before it takes your hand.
The traces left by heavy summer showers i'd lose the s off showers to make a perfect rhyme
have given grace to eyes that watch you stand. a suggestion would be to lose [have] in order to make the two lines have an even meter of +and - half a foot, (milo or leane can explain it better than i
The moment breaks with noises in the street,
you turn your smile and see me move away.
The paving stones are patterned by damp feet, a great image
that follow me to arms that hold your sway.
The sweetest rain taps windows once again,
our first embrace adds colour to the frame. again/frame just make it as slant rhyme (i think)

Many thanks Billy for such considered feedback it all very helpful and I think I have addressed most of the issues you raise in the Edit. I really do need to read the help that the site provided on beat and meter as both are becoming more important I now realise. Cheers K