08-09-2013, 09:10 AM
Seeing as it is my first poem, I could use some help in improving.
I apprechiate any replies.
Surrounding me, all the dark
No shining lights, no hints of a spark
Fighting for air, but the water is deep
I needed my love, my light, my fleet
The sky is not blue, no clouds showing might
No stars showing either their bright shining lights
Is it too late, am I alone
Is everything known to us, died and gone?
Too late it is, I lost my own fight
I tried to reach out, but so far out of sight
Down the stream, but no oars to row
For darkness I meet, for darkness i bow
Try to hear my last final cries
Was I too honest, or were you all lies?
See that I need you, please hear my call
It's dark down below, and I fall, and I fall, and I fall.
I apprechiate any replies.
Surrounding me, all the dark
No shining lights, no hints of a spark
Fighting for air, but the water is deep
I needed my love, my light, my fleet
The sky is not blue, no clouds showing might
No stars showing either their bright shining lights
Is it too late, am I alone
Is everything known to us, died and gone?
Too late it is, I lost my own fight
I tried to reach out, but so far out of sight
Down the stream, but no oars to row
For darkness I meet, for darkness i bow
Try to hear my last final cries
Was I too honest, or were you all lies?
See that I need you, please hear my call
It's dark down below, and I fall, and I fall, and I fall.