08-07-2013, 11:08 AM
(08-05-2013, 05:53 PM)billy Wrote: you use too many intangibles. we don't care if it's religious, or not. at present while religion is apparent in the poem, little else is. the 1st stanza looked interesting then it got buried under words that really say the same thing and nothing. there's no depth no theme. just a question. where is god. i'm not sure that's enough in form put forward.
(08-05-2013, 07:20 AM)brandonalsip Wrote: I actually really enjoyed this poem and I am not religious in the slightest. It's really rather nice I think, especially for an early poem.why did you enjoy it? please give more than a stock reply
Thanks for the input. I'm taking this pretty seriously as I really do want to become a better poet. When you say that the words say the same thing and nothing, could you give an example from the poem of what you're talking about? Also, the theme was not the question "where is God". This poem was meant to explore two common conceptions of death, and show how similar they may end up being in the end. Maybe I did a bad job of making this clear?