Carousel Blues

Carousel Blues

milo

mmmmm, brandy

Posts: 1,279
Threads: 187
Joined: Dec 2016

#18

07-30-2013, 03:03 PM

(07-30-2013, 03:00 PM)newsclippings Wrote: Mostly because "rain would birth steam fogs."
"Rain would births steam fogs" dudn't go.

And I already used "create" once.

did you consider active voice? -

I only remember summer nights
because that's when rain pummeled my town,
birthed steam fogs out of manholes,
created lakes in neighbors' driveways so large--
I couldn't help but stomp, splash,

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Messages In This Thread

Carousel Blues - by newsclippings - 07-01-2013, 12:05 PM

RE: Carousel Blues - by Brownlie - 07-01-2013, 01:02 PM

RE: Carousel Blues - by Bunx - 07-02-2013, 09:09 AM

RE: Carousel Blues - by Vistaldust - 07-02-2013, 09:34 AM

RE: Carousel Blues - by serge gurkski - 07-02-2013, 10:21 AM

RE: Carousel Blues - by Brownlie - 07-02-2013, 10:22 AM

RE: Carousel Blues - by newsclippings - 07-02-2013, 10:23 AM

RE: Carousel Blues - by Brownlie - 07-02-2013, 10:44 AM

RE: Carousel Blues - by newsclippings - 07-02-2013, 10:59 AM

RE: Carousel Blues - by serge gurkski - 07-02-2013, 12:09 PM