Smoking

[billy]

I'm sorry I know im no master poet I just started writing some one day and thought I'd share. It looks like I have a lot of work to do. This is a novice level poet forum isn't it? Just tell me how to improve my poetry and I'll do it. Again Im sorry. Give me some feedback with some tips on what to do to improve my poetry

i'm off topic here;

we don't expect novice poets to understand everything or even use every suggestion give. and we realize how daunting it can be. we just hope that a novice poet will pick up on one or two things that are mentioned in feedback. if it looks too much, ask a question, ie;

what did mean by cliche?
is there somewhere i could look that up.
could you explain this point in more detail please.

ask, always ask.

---

So I smoke my life away
I look at my ash tray
and find it a despairing pit

the above is what your aiming for not what is under this line

I smoke the last cigarette
It fills me with satisfaction
At least I don't have terrets you need a dictionary; [
ter·ret
[ter-it] Show IPA
noun
one of the round loops or rings on the saddle of a harness, through which the driving reins pass.]

My lungs are filled with emaciation [b]
e·ma·ci·a·tion
[ih-mey-shee-ey-shuhn, -see-] Show IPA
noun
1.
abnormal thinness caused by lack of nutrition or by disease.

Maybe I should quit smoking
It would be healthier wouldn't it?
At least im not toking
And not blazing a bit

Jesus is the answer
Why does he force me to smoke
Like I'm a leper
With no hope

Maybe god will save me
probably not
He wants me to smoking the nicotine tree this line is bad english
But not pot