07-29-2013, 07:36 AM
Thank you for your thoughtful critiques, trueenigma and R. C. Kitchens
trueenigma - I had to look up ephrastic
The poem, to me, isn't a description of an art piece but just an attempt to describe a feeling caused by a sight. It's addressing no-one except the reader. Your "stage notes" observation is intriguing; it probably says a lot about how I establish settings in my poems
I didn't mean the first verse to look like stage notes, but I can certainly see how they could be read as such.
R. C. Kitchens - The repetition was intentional, though I like your "plywood" suggestion.
trueenigma - I had to look up ephrastic
The poem, to me, isn't a description of an art piece but just an attempt to describe a feeling caused by a sight. It's addressing no-one except the reader. Your "stage notes" observation is intriguing; it probably says a lot about how I establish settings in my poems I didn't mean the first verse to look like stage notes, but I can certainly see how they could be read as such.R. C. Kitchens - The repetition was intentional, though I like your "plywood" suggestion.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe