Short Lived Freedom

[billy]

if you remove all the couplets with a cliche your basically left with
one
two
three
four
five
i may be stretching it with 4 and 5 but those are prose and very unpoetic
try and actually show us something, who why what when how
in the distance, not far from me is a contradiction

sirens blaring close by
or
sirens blaring in the distance.

both of which are cliche
how do they blare

sirens caterwaul in the distance

One,
pinging sound as the metal falls to the cold wet ground.
body not breathing in a pool of blood that surrounds.
Two,
hands are trembling violently and this night is why.
blue eyes praying for a signal to come from the sky.
Three,
sirens blaring in the distance not so far from me.
cars searching streets for the person who must not be free.
Four,
police officers now survey the scene of the crime.
strong arms will pat him down because he ran out of time.
Five,
miles and a trial from what his life will become.
minutes are not enough to erase the deed he's done.