07-08-2013, 12:52 PM
(06-21-2013, 04:39 AM)Robbie Reaper Wrote: The Plan II put in bold the words I thought come off as cliche. I really didnt get the plan. The work you have here lacks in it detail and imagery.
Long ago, with the aim of love,
You fired faith and hope with fortitude
From the bottom of your heart.
Effortlessly, you withstood bitterness and hatred
Knowing in your morale, you may break
And withdraw the plan in weakness.
The Plan II
Right now, with reckless abandon for affliction,
You're preparing for the forthcoming anger-ridden aftermath
With a bleeding heart in hand.
Selflessly, you're withstanding the Grim Reaper
Knowing the likelihood of your liveliness may
break off. However, your pride will be remembered.
-Robbie Reaper
I think you could rework this piece with more of your imagination and come up with more depth for "The Plan and Plan 2".
I don't believe it has to rhyme, just more detailed and invoking.
I once told this blond chick to screw in a light bulb..
She got naked and asked "how do I get in it?"
She got naked and asked "how do I get in it?"

