Play the violin again edit 2. leanne,serge.edit 1 milo,svan,rc,billy, serge et al

[tectak]

Edit 2

Play the violin again;
from hands that flit
let lightly slip
a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy.
Sweep low and bow
to Symphony's allure. Thanks leanne.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings;
we rise, on softly wafting wings,
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
and there I hear the sky.


Edit 1
Play the violin again;
from hands that flit
let lightly slip
a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy.
Sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings;
we rise, on softly wafting wings,
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
and there I hear the sky.

Original:

Play the violin again;
let hands that flit so lightly
slip a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy;
sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings,
I rise on softly wafting wings
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
but there I hear the sky.

Tectak
1992

I really love the imagery used here. As for the structure, it's nice and short

Thank you,
you come lte to this one but are there any areas it could be improved?
Best,
tectak