Play the violin again edit 2. leanne,serge.edit 1 milo,svan,rc,billy, serge et al

[Leanne]

Play the violin again;
from hands that flit
let lightly slip
a sigh. -- lovely assonance and alliteration build sonics that already enhance the subject matter -- fricatives and sibilants are perfect
Fold forward into flesch
and scoop the ecstasy. -- fantastic image
Sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways. -- the c and t sounds are a little harsh -- is there any way you could fit in "alluring" instead of "tempting" and substitute something softer for "music"?
Your tender notes will soothe the strings; -- with the t on the previous line, this is a touch too tinny -- if the previous t were replaced, the softer nd would predominate and slide into the sibilants more smoothly
we rise, on softly wafting wings,
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
and there I hear the sky. -- beautiful synaesthesia