06-29-2013, 06:51 AM
This was a fun read! My favorite line is "we can blow it up". It has personality and the turn of words fits nicely after "in the cleavage of this rock." I am not sure I understand why you chose these particular line breaks, though I don't claim to know very much about that aspect of poetry. Also, the bit about heroes was a bit lost on me. But overall, I liked how this piece has 'voice'. Thanks!