Play the violin again edit 2. leanne,serge.edit 1 milo,svan,rc,billy, serge et al

[tectak]

high tom, like a twat i read the feedback first, so now i'm struggling
a couple of nits really, nothing more. like svan said (i forgot your name old chap ) it has a light airy feel to it,
thanks for the read. .

Play the violin again;
let hands that flit so lightly for me this is a better 1st line
slip a sigh. a suggestion would be [slide a sigh]
Fold forward into flesch i'd like to say "i knew what this was" but i didn't i still googled it and it's a lovely word.
and scoop the ecstasy; i have see some violinists and i must say, they do sometimes look ecstatic.
sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings,
I rise on softly wafting wings considering the [will soothe] would [i'll rise] be more in line with making the tense less ambiguous?
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
but there I hear the sky. does it need the [but]

Tectak
1992

Hi billy,
lilke a twat I replied to others before reading yours!
The first line debate is interesting because I KNOW that I wrote that first line as the audience begged by polite applause that she, the performer, played the violin again...I guess it is just "Encore!" in other words.
You are right on the tenses BUT I noticed , too, and so omitted the implied "I'll" for "I will rise" deliberately before posting. Originally it was
"Your tender notes will soothe the strings,
rising on softly wafting wings..." What say you?
Best,
tectak