06-22-2013, 05:12 PM
high tom, like a twat i read the feedback first, so now i'm struggling 
a couple of nits really, nothing more. like svan said (i forgot your name old chap
) it has a light airy feel to it,
thanks for the read. .
a couple of nits really, nothing more. like svan said (i forgot your name old chap
) it has a light airy feel to it, thanks for the read. .
(06-20-2013, 08:23 PM)tectak Wrote: Play the violin again;
let hands that flit so lightly for me this is a better 1st line
slip a sigh. a suggestion would be [slide a sigh]
Fold forward into flesch i'd like to say "i knew what this was" but i didn't i still googled it and it's a lovely word.
and scoop the ecstasy; i have see some violinists and i must say, they do sometimes look ecstatic.
sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings,
I rise on softly wafting wings considering the [will soothe] would [i'll rise] be more in line with making the tense less ambiguous?
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
but there I hear the sky. does it need the [but]
Tectak
1992