The night of the hedgehog

[serge gurkski]

in places it feels a bit wordy, it also feels a lot like prose. it's a good story but the 2nd and 3rd stanza are mainly tell. the story itself is complete in getting across the kindness and the sadness or worry of the 1st person (narrator) it just needs to be less prose like

great to see you back young man

The alley of linden trees oozed out its honey into the nocturnal air … is [it's] needed, as it's a given whos the honey is?
May had been delayed till deep into June. is [into]needed as deep june has more to it than just the telling
Butterflies and bees pouted like wallflowers
whose lovers had not shone up at their rendez-vous did you mean shown?
and some even grieved so much that they died.

A hedgehog scampered over the lawn,
the secret of his astonishing speed
safeguarded smirkingly by a conspirative night.
Next to this prickly fellow a man obviously
untrained in moving around on all fours
seemed to be looking for something
he had lost: sobriety, balance or money
or possibly all of these valuables at the same time.

I gave the compelling inner coherence
of my assumption based upon the human condition
a passing thought while passing this human by,
benevolently pretending nonchalant neglect of his misery,
before returning again to take care of my own.
-----------------------------

A hedgehog, unlike the one whose brain and guts I saw spread over the asphalt last night (to my lesser delight), when still in good shape, looks like this sometimes:

billy:
whose lovers had not shone up at their rendez-vous did you mean shown?

yeah! dammit: shown! ;-)


I felt inclined to skip the rest of my reply. ,-)