06-22-2013, 06:26 AM
don't defend what once was fine. sigh. etc.
cheers
serge
I never said it was close to bad, your poem, did I?
Let me show you why it could be good:
Play the violin again!
Let hands that flit so lightly
slip a sigh!
Fold forward into Flesch
and scoop the ecstasy!
Sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways!
Your tender notes will soothe the strings.
I rise on softly wafting wings
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring:
but there I hear the sky.
let hands that flit so lightly slip a sigh
...
I rise on wings on air so thin
bells scarcely ring:
I hear the sky.
----
Thank you for this, Tom.
Wonderful poetry.
cheers
serge
(06-20-2013, 08:23 PM)tectak Wrote: Play the violin again;
let hands that flit so lightly
slip a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch <<< ...into X Flesch
and scoop the ecstasy;
sweep low to bow <<< to X bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings,
I rise on softly wafting wings
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring, <<< in sigh! X_ air (finally)
but there I hear the sky. <<< I ................ hear (for godsake! yeah!)
Tectak
1992
cheers
serge
I never said it was close to bad, your poem, did I?
Let me show you why it could be good:
Play the violin again!
Let hands that flit so lightly
slip a sigh!
Fold forward into Flesch
and scoop the ecstasy!
Sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways!
Your tender notes will soothe the strings.
I rise on softly wafting wings
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring:
but there I hear the sky.
let hands that flit so lightly slip a sigh
...
I rise on wings on air so thin
bells scarcely ring:
I hear the sky.
----
Thank you for this, Tom.
Wonderful poetry.
cheers
serge
