Play the violin again edit 2. leanne,serge.edit 1 milo,svan,rc,billy, serge et al
#6
don't defend what once was fine. sigh. etc.

(06-20-2013, 08:23 PM)tectak Wrote:  Play the violin again;
let hands that flit so lightly
slip a sigh.
Fold forward into flesch <<< ...into X Flesch
and scoop the ecstasy;
sweep low to bow <<< to X bow
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings,
I rise on softly wafting wings
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring, <<< in sigh! X_ air (finally)
but there I hear the sky. <<< I ................ hear (for godsake! yeah!)

Tectak
1992


cheers
serge

I never said it was close to bad, your poem, did I?
Let me show you why it could be good:


Play the violin again!

Let hands that flit so lightly
slip a sigh!

Fold forward into Flesch
and scoop the ecstasy!

Sweep low to bow
to music’s tempting ways!

Your tender notes will soothe the strings.

I rise on softly wafting wings
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring:

but there I hear the sky.

let hands that flit so lightly slip a sigh
...
I rise on wings on air so thin
bells scarcely ring:

I hear the sky.
----

Thank you for this, Tom.

Wonderful poetry.

cheers
serge
Reply


Messages In This Thread
RE: Play the violin again - by svanhoeven - 06-20-2013, 10:04 PM
RE: Play the violin again - by tectak - 06-20-2013, 10:20 PM
RE: Play the violin again - by serge gurkski - 06-22-2013, 01:15 AM
RE: Play the violin again - by tectak - 06-22-2013, 05:09 AM
RE: Play the violin again - by serge gurkski - 06-22-2013, 06:26 AM
RE: Play the violin again - by serge gurkski - 06-22-2013, 01:59 PM
RE: Play the violin again - by tectak - 06-22-2013, 03:59 PM
RE: Play the violin again - by billy - 06-22-2013, 05:12 PM
RE: Play the violin again - by tectak - 06-23-2013, 08:24 PM
RE: Play the violin again - by R.C. KITCHENS - 06-23-2013, 12:04 PM
RE: Play the violin again - by tectak - 06-23-2013, 05:11 PM
RE: Play the violin again - by Brownlie - 06-24-2013, 12:36 AM
RE: Play the violin again - by tectak - 06-24-2013, 01:59 AM
RE: Play the violin again - by milo - 06-24-2013, 05:03 AM
RE: Play the violin again - by tectak - 06-24-2013, 05:10 AM
RE: Play the violin again - by milo - 06-24-2013, 05:12 AM
RE: Play the violin again - by tectak - 06-24-2013, 06:17 AM
RE: Play the violin again - by milo - 06-24-2013, 06:28 AM
RE: Play the violin again - by Keith - 06-24-2013, 07:43 AM
RE: Play the violin again - by serge gurkski - 06-25-2013, 11:41 AM



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