Ligawan
#3
Thanks Big Grin this is the kind of comment/critique I truly need. It's been weeks trying to figure out what's wrong with this poem.

I hope you don't mind, but cam you elaborate on the 5th
line, "from your half-pressed lips. this line feels awkward" for the sake of note taking Smile Thank you
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Messages In This Thread
Ligawan - by jdelacroix - 03-09-2010, 09:44 AM
RE: Your silence dries my throat - by billy - 03-09-2010, 01:41 PM
RE: Your silence dries my throat - by jdelacroix - 03-09-2010, 01:59 PM
RE: Your silence dries my throat - by billy - 03-09-2010, 02:20 PM
RE: Your silence dries my throat - by jdelacroix - 03-09-2010, 02:33 PM
RE: Your silence dries my throat - by billy - 03-09-2010, 02:44 PM
RE: Your silence dries my throat - by addy - 03-10-2010, 11:23 AM
RE: Your silence dries my throat - by jdelacroix - 03-10-2010, 11:29 AM
RE: Your silence dries my throat - by addy - 03-10-2010, 12:00 PM
RE: Ligawan - by jdelacroix - 03-12-2010, 09:53 AM
RE: Ligawan - by billy - 03-12-2010, 11:33 AM
RE: Ligawan - by jdelacroix - 03-12-2010, 02:19 PM
RE: Ligawan - by addy - 03-12-2010, 03:26 PM



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