06-20-2013, 10:04 PM
I like the light and breezy feel of it.
(06-20-2013, 08:23 PM)tectak Wrote: Play the violin again;
let hands that flit so lightly
Maybe you should break on flit- it's much more interesting than the adverb "lightly".
slip a sigh.
I like the sound of the phrase, but I'm having trouble imagining a violin producing a sigh. A sigh seems breathy and atonal to me.
Fold forward into flesch
I had to research this. If it's not a typo, then I found a Carl Flesch who was a violinist and teacher, who also has a style of chin rest named for him. I'm not sure he's well-known for his compositions.
and scoop the ecstasy;
sweep low to bow
"Bow" with its double-meaning here is extremely good. It can be read coherently as either homograph, though you give the reader a hint with "low".
to music’s tempting ways.
Your tender notes will soothe the strings,
I rise on softly wafting wings
in air so thin, bells scarcely ring,
but there I hear the sky.
Tectak
1992