05-30-2013, 09:15 PM
(05-30-2013, 06:36 AM)GDavid Wrote: The success I refer to is that of reaching the point of crossing. The ordeal most face in Mexico, raising the money, dealing with the coyotes, etc. is hard for us to understand never facing those obstacles just to keep our families safe.
My personal feelings on a secure border are different than the person I write about however we all experience life from our perspective. I enjoy trying to see through the eyes of another in order to better understand why things are the way they are.
Then my critique would be to clarify that point (success in making the crossing) in the line, as it reads differently.
And also, as a reader I would still like to know more about the reasons that moved this character to leave home, as it would seem to be an integral part of the poem's meaning and it is missing. One line would be enough, and you state reasons in your 'reply' that would work for this.