last breath after coma.

[serge gurkski]

I did know that! i saw them live and missoula, as well as mogwai!

---

(First) Breath after coma.


Breathe;
one last timefull stop
You're awake now.

"Doctor, what's the time?"

You're fading, Alicefull stop
I won't ever see
us again.huh? Us?...but maybe subtle

"Time is irrelevant.Why the quotes? Is this narrative? Who says it?
Alice is off
to the land of
the undead."

it is ok.Capital letter to start a sentence
Your just offYOU'RE. YOUR is possesive as in YOUR POEM
to wonderland.
You're alright.

"DOCTOR WE GOT A BREATH!"

---

hmm how bouts this one tect? i took you're suggestions and added us!

Much, much, much better!
This is now expressive.
So am I.
Sorry.
Best,
tectak

---

tom/mild crit only please.

I tried billy, believe me I tried. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I'm going back to serious!


Mind you, he seemed to like it

Best,
tectak

a self-made trap

---

Becuz of all the punctuation frenzy hailing down 'pon us as of late I but couldn't refrain from misread this almost promising title of a would- be-may-be-poem as " last break after comma" and I blame that generously on no one named.

The poem as it is possibly supposed to be meant to be to some but not me could carry
some spurious meaning to please who exactly again bc the reader imaginary could not have been implied or i need even more pills to get

it?

cheers anyway
no harm done and peace to everyone

I like dada massacres like this more than i could or care to say

;-)

serge i think
(still don't wanna go to that clinic again:
go away! leave me alone!)

Ok, once you grow up, do not hesitate to inform me about how beautiful life now is to you,
just as if I was supposed to care

etc

---

And how someone like Tom could ever get into this, I will never get. ;-)
And, in addition, refuse to try to understand when it is all open ad oculos at first glance, but ok: you're not me.
I'll taciturn now...