The Stream

[tectak]

Behind the willow's curtain,
tremulously I watched
as all voyeurs must,
wanting to be caught.

You stood at water’s edge,
seduced by summer winds;
their pliable hands pressing against your outline
thrilled me, and I held you
through light-dappled leaves.

A twirl, a swirl;
you danced on the blades of the bank,
mirroring eddies in the water.

With arms outstretched
to catch the cooling sun,
you stepped through the silvered surface
till it lapped the curve of your calf.

I hid inside tree trunk's shade,
no screaming thought had room to breathe.
Closer, ever closer,
then splash, and splash again.
You sat within the willow's reach
and splashing called
my brother's name.

---

2nd edit. i changed the end to add some pathos tried to fix the grammar and punctuation thanks to the help of all who left feedback

The Stream
Behind the willow's curtain,
tremulously i watched
as all voyeurs must,
wanting to be caught.

You stood at water’s edge,
seduced by summer's wind
it's pliable hands pressing.
Your outline thrilled me,
and I held you through light-dappled leaves.

A twirl, a swirl;
you danced on the blades of the bank,
mirroring eddies in the water.

With arms outstretched
to catch the cooling sun.
You stepped through the silvered surface
till it lapped the curve of your calf.

I returned behind tree trunks shade,
no screaming thought had room to breathe.
Closer, ever closer,
then splash, and splash again.
You sat within the willow's reach
and splashing, called my name.

---

and edit based on some of the feedback so far. thanks for the suggestions and replies.

original

the stream


Behind the willow tree's curtain;
I watched and trembled
as all voyeurs must,
wanting to be caught.

You stood at water’s edge,
seducing the summer wind
whose hands pressed into you.
The outline enthralled me,
and I hugged you through light-dappled leaves.

A twirl, a swirl;
you danced on the green bank,
mirrored eddies in the water.

With arms outstretched
to catch the distant sun.
You stepped into the silvered cool
till it lapped the curve of your calf.

I hugged the rough of the tree so tight,
no subtle thought had room to breathe.
Closer you came
then splash! And splash again.
You sat within the willow's reach
and splashing, called my name.

---

this is a major edit of an older poem i wrote way back.

On the money,billy. Glad to see it in some new clothes. Not sure you needed the brother bit or the last splahing, but still, good form.
Best,
tectak