05-14-2013, 01:10 AM
@Joatmon I can see why you would change the last line to "wearing your heart on your sleeve" and I thought about it but I didn't want it to sound too cliche. I always try to be a little more creative when using commonly used statements like that and I couldn't come up with a better middle ground of not sounding cliche but still having it get across what I wanted to say.
Also, with the "tear" part it is slightly contradictory but that's kind of the point. "Tear" sounds a bit more angry and aggressive and combining that with "sweetly" is trying to say there's a certain beauty in the chaos that is sometimes found in the sounds of nature and wildlife.
I'm not saying it grammatically or technically makes any since so your not wrong but I think it says exactly what I wanted it to and changing it might go against that. Anyways, thanks for the feedback its much appreciated.
Also, with the "tear" part it is slightly contradictory but that's kind of the point. "Tear" sounds a bit more angry and aggressive and combining that with "sweetly" is trying to say there's a certain beauty in the chaos that is sometimes found in the sounds of nature and wildlife.
I'm not saying it grammatically or technically makes any since so your not wrong but I think it says exactly what I wanted it to and changing it might go against that. Anyways, thanks for the feedback its much appreciated.