05-13-2013, 12:39 PM
while brevity can be good, we want something to stay with us after reading it. (i do anyway 
) i like the 'I am' at the end, it gives me a few seconds to think about the poem and i get a feel it's an introspective of you or the 1st person liking themselves. the main problem are the cliche each line is a common phrase try and use original images (three things no one else has said)
) i like the 'I am' at the end, it gives me a few seconds to think about the poem and i get a feel it's an introspective of you or the 1st person liking themselves. the main problem are the cliche each line is a common phrase try and use original images (three things no one else has said) (05-13-2013, 12:32 PM)Volaticus Wrote: [ind]adoring eyes,
[ind]a doting gesture,
[ind]a gentle squeeze;
i am.
(This poem is translated. I'd like to hear your honest opinions. Thanks.)