Reality of Thunderstorm

[dusboss]

as a workshop, we require those who post poetry in novice, mild, or serious crit, to leave feedback elsewhere. please do so.

the poem;
lightening hits the ground thunder is a noise that is made in air.

the 1st stanza feels weak in that it feels off the point. what vicious look?
what is meant by dragged and distracted? at present the poem has very little glue holding it together. things like 'the bones tremble' are overly dramatic. bewrae cliche like 'you are scared to death' use some images and the poem will get better. while we'll help with the english as much as we can, we're not english teachers. in places it shows through as a 2nd or 3rd language. i'd suggest doing some english lessons in tandem with the poetry

At every beginning the flashes appear
The vicious look makes you go for it
Dragged and distracted
You have no thoughts left in mind
Suddenly the sky crushes on you

Chills have crawled underneath the skin
The bones tremble
You are fascinated by it's dark beauty
Hope patiently rises
Thoughts are coming back

Trembles and shakes are real
The thunder hits the ground
Confusion grows
You are scared to death
Sound of wind's blows disappears
Straight from nowhere emotions erupt

Well I posted a couple of feedback on a poems in here in novice section, if necessary, I could post in other sections but I am not an expert so I can't criticize with knowledge attached , I could only express my personal opinion on a poem.

Vicious look is of flashes(or should I say looks?), you are dragged and distracted by it's looks and because of that it is impossible to think.

Do you suggest turning a poem into past tense?

I always try to avoid clinches but somehow this "scared to death" came across as right line to get into the song.

As I said I will definitely work on grammar.

Thank you for feedback